For the Love of His Smile
by Cocaine-Crazy
Summary: One shot. Malik is in love with Ryou, and worries about the other hikari because he's going out with Bakura. But what will happen when Ryou comes to Malik after his yami hit him? Warnings- Yaoi, rape. MR, BR


Oni: Some of you might recognize this fic. It got kicked off LovelySchoolGurlShindou and Darth-Balls, so I've created a new account. Whenever one of my fics get booted off, they will first appear on Darth-Balls, and if they get kicked off that one too, they'll appear on this account. I seriously can't believe some one narked on me though --  
  
DEDICATED TO LILHAMMYGRL!  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own YGO. Now hurry up and read the fic!  
  
Started on: Saturday, July 12th, 2003 10:40 pm  
  
Ryou-kun.... You are truly the epitome of beauty. You are the personification of innocence, the angel sent from heaven. Even you have to see how spectacular you are. There's no one else like you; no where in the entire world, heaven, or hell, is there anyone like you. And no one can ever compete with your ephemeral beauty, either of body or soul.  
  
"Malik-san? Malik-san?"  
  
I snapped out of my daydream as I heard my name being called, then, quickly averted my gaze to the floor when I realized I was staring.  
  
"Are you okay, Malik-san?" Ryou asked me, his kawaii voice full of concern. I smiled at him. It's kind of my way of saying yes. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand that and backed up a little.  
  
"Err...sorry." I finally managed to say. "I'm fine. Why do you think something is wrong?"  
  
"Ano....you were just staring. I've been saying your name for five minutes. Class is over and you're usually the first to notice so...." A pink blush stains his cheeks, and I just want to cuddle him.  
  
He's so kawaii! The way he talks and moves, he sounded so nervous. "Sorry about that." I answer sheepishly, putting a hand behind my head. "I was just day dreaming." Please don't ask what I was dreaming about, please don't ask what I was dreaming about, please don't...  
  
Ryou blushed again, which was so incredibly cute, I just wanted to hug him and say 'awwww!' Hmm...I think I'm over using the word cute. Anyways-  
  
"Oh, I see. Um...anyways, I'll see you later." Ryou said, as he rushed out of the class room. Hn. He looked like he was in a hurry and I couldn't help but sigh. He was probably off to go and spend time with his yami, much to my dismay.  
  
I stood up and started on the walk home, wondering what he sees in someone like Bakura. Ryou always seemed like an emotional type of person. Like, the type of person who cries during sad movies and reads romance novels and likes long walks on the beach. Shit like that. If he was that type of person, I couldn't imagine why he would want to go out with Bakura of all people. Think about it. Bakura is the most un-romantic, un-emotional, unfriendly son-of-a-bitch out there. I should know I used to go out with him. Feh. That was one of the most abusive and upsetting relationships I've ever been in, including having gone out with my yami. Even my yami wasn't that bad though!  
  
I was away from all that though, and I was in love with Ryou, obviously. I think that was even worse though. I knew I'd never have him no matter what I did, but I worried about his being with Bakura and all, ya know? He seemed to have found love with his yami, and I was happy for him. Besides, I knew Bakura had changed for the better. There was no doubt in my mind that he loved his hikari just as much as Ryou loved him. Or at least I hoped so.  
  
With all the thoughts about Ryou, I hadn't realized what I was doing and I was home. Odd. I walked inside and found a note on the table.  
  
Malik, I went to Mai's and I won't be home 'til late. I left some money on your bed, so you can order pizza, or whatever you want. Don't burn anything, please.  
  
Love, Isis  
  
I rolled my eyes at that last comment. Of course I wasn't going to burn anything! What did she take me for? I'm not some crazy pyromaniac like my yami is. Though the matches on the table were calling out to me seductively.... No! What the hell am I thinking?! I walked into my room and stared at the money sitting on my bed but I couldn't think about food. I wasn't really that hungry, I would have preferred to sleep, even it was only five o'clock in the afternoon.  
  
I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes praying for the darkness of sleep that was so often denied me. Feh. Of course I couldn't get any sleep, did I mention I'm an insomniac? Yeah, you're right, it's not important. What's important is I couldn't sleep because, 1. It was still much too early, and 2. My thoughts kept drifting back to Ryou.  
  
Ryou-kun.... the embodiment of beauty, the – no, no, you're right. I've already said that. Hmm. I guess I won't go back to those thoughts. I was very jealous though. Very very very jealous of Bakura, how could someone like him get someone like Ryou?! I understood that the bond between hikari and yami is powerful, but still.... Ryou was way out of his league. It may have not seemed like it before, but it killed me to know the two were going out. It killed me to know Ryou had lost his innocence to someone like Bakura. I bet he was pressured into it too. My poor kawaii lil' Ryou- kun..... I should have been the one who he lost his virginity to. I should have been the one who was on top of him; I was the one who should have been making him-  
  
Before I had a chance to even finish my highly erotic though, I was jarred from my contemplations by the annoying doorbell. Yes, the annoying doorbell, we weren't privileged enough to have a normal doorbell, ours was one of those stupid ones that played a tune when someone rang it; it was cool at first but after the first five visitors, I wanted to rip the door bell out of the wall. Grumbling angrily, I stood up, walked to the door and threw it open, but before I had the chance to say anything murderous to the ringer of the doorbell, Ryou flung himself at me, throwing his arms around my waist. I looked at him, and he looked up at me, but the delighted smile on my face quickly faded away when I got a good look him. His eyes were red from crying, he had a black eye, and a big red hand print across the side of his face made the skin look raw. The hand print would definitely bruise; I wanted to kill whoever put it there.  
  
I shut the door, and grabbed Ryou's hand, leading him into my bedroom; we both sat down on the bed, but he carefully avoided my gaze by looking down at the black sheets instead. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore; they cascaded down his face and dripped on the leg of his jeans, darkening the fabric. I pulled him into a hug and tried to comfort him, but despite my best efforts, I couldn't help but enjoy the situation. "What happened to you?" I asked quietly.  
  
He wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me closer to him. Ryou looked up at me, and his eyes no longer seemed bright and happy, all I could see was the sadness and pain reflected in those big brown doe eyes. He has such beautiful eyes. "Bakura..." He mumbled, again, unable to meet my gaze.  
  
Bakura? I felt my blood boil as I heard that name. If he had done anything to hurt Ryou, I would go after him and kill him. How dare he hurt one so innocent, so happy, and so beautiful? How dare he hurt someone that loves him? "What did he do to you?" I asked quietly, trying to keep the anger out of my voice.  
  
Ryou buried his head in my chest and started sobbing. I started to run my fingers through his long silver hair trying once again to comfort him while reveling in the feel of him; I can't stand it when people cry. "Shhh. It's okay. Just tell me." I said, in a calm soothing voice.  
  
"He hit me," Ryou mumbled, crying even harder.  
  
I could have guessed that, one look at his face said everything. "Only your face?" I asked hopefully.  
  
He shook his head before pulling away. Ryou lifted up his shirt a little, so I could see his stomach. If I wanted to kill Bakura before, I wanted to torture him endlessly when Ryou did that. Ryou's stomach had a huge purple bruise on it. I lifted up the other hikari's shirt all the way to see even more purple bruises on his once flawless pale skin. I pulled the shirt over his head, and tossed it carelessly onto the floor. "Ryou...." I sighed, not only did his stomach have bruises, but they were on his arms, and there was even one on his neck. I turned him around to look at his back, and my suspicions were confirmed. His back was also covered in purple bruises and the occasional impact contusion.  
  
He turned around to face at me at last, pleading in his eyes, "I'm sorry I came here." Ryou whispered helplessly. "I needed someone to talk to, and I really didn't know where else to go. I'm sorry to have bothered you, but I really-"  
  
He didn't get to finish his sentence because I had covered his mouth with mine, bringing him into a kiss. I couldn't help it. This all seemed like the perfect opportunity. I know it may have seemed more like I lusted after him, rather than loved him, but that was only somewhat true... I mean, c'mon. This was Ryou. You'd do the same thing if you were in my position.  
  
Anyways, back to the kiss. It was terrible. He wasn't responding at all. His whole body seemed to have frozen, and he whimpered into the kiss. Not in a good way though. He sounded scared, and soon he was trying to pull away. I let him, and he looked up at me. The sadness and pain once reflected in his eyes was replaced with fear. "Sorry...." He mumbled.  
  
"Don't be." I whispered. "It's not your fault." For some reason I pulled him into another kiss, pushing my tongue past his lips, trying to get more of a reaction out of him. Unfortunately, I got the same reaction as last time, only now more tears were falling out of his eyes. To keep him from pulling away, I laid him down, not breaking the kiss and stayed on top of him. I grabbed both his wrists with one hand, and held them above his head. After a few minutes I pulled away.  
  
"Malik! What are you doing?!" He cried hysterically. "Please let me go!" I looked into his eyes once more, and he looked completely horrified.  
  
For whatever reason, I didn't listen to him. I could have let him go, and we could have put everything behind us and could have gone back to being friends, but that's not how it was. "I'm making you feel better." I purred into his ear, answering his question. After that, I couldn't hear what he was saying anymore. His cries and pleas all fell on deaf ears, or maybe I just wasn't listening. Before I knew it, we were both naked, and I was forcing him into another kiss.  
  
"Malik-san, why are you doing this?!" Ryou asked, crying as he looked into my eyes. Cold, uncaring, lust glazed eyes. I didn't answer him, I couldn't answer him, my mind wasn't anywhere near functioning enough to speak. Instead, I kissed Ryou' forehead, before slowly thrusting into him, not bothering with any preparation.  
  
A pained cry was torn from Ryou's throat, and he arched his back slightly, trying to move away from me. That didn't make much of a difference though. I still can't remember why I would do something like rape my best friend, but there is no turning back time. By now, Ryou had given up on begging, and he was sobbing quietly, leaning his face against my chest. "Shh," I murmured, "it'll only hurt at first, but you'll get used to it." I pulled out of him, before going back in slowly and lingering inside him, earning an agonizing cry from the boy beneath me. One of my hands made its way to his length, and I started stroking him in time with my thrusts.  
  
Ryou's eyes were shut tight, and his breathing was hitched. He looked so adorable, even with his face contorted in pain like it was. The whole thing would have been perfect, if only I wasn't raping him. I don't even think I knew I was raping him at the time. I'm sure you're wondering how one person can be so dense. I really don't have an answer to that.  
  
"Ryou-kun...." I mumbled, pulling out of him again and then thrusting back in, this time faster and harder than before. "You're so hot." I repeated my same actions as before, thrusting back inside him then out. "So tight."  
  
Now that I look back on it, I can see he obviously wasn't enjoying himself as much as I was. After I thought he was ready (which he wasn't), I went even faster and harder, and eventually lost control. The whole thing lasted for about a half an hour, and then Ryou came onto my hand, unable to stop himself. I followed his actions, cumming inside him then I rolled off of him, and attempted to pull him into a hug. He moved away from me, looking completely betrayed. I guess I can't blame him. I pulled the covers over both of us, closed my eyes then drifted off to sleep.  
  
The next morning, I woke up, and looked around. Seeing no sign of Ryou, I started to panic. Then I started to think of what I'd actually done to him. My face paled considerably despite my skin color. I felt like I was about to throw up. I couldn't believe I had done something so stupid, there was no logical explanation for my actions. Why had I done that?  
  
I decided I might as well go to school, though I very much doubted Ryou would actually be there. But he was. He was smiling and happy the just as he had been before. He was the same kawaii Ryou I knew and loved. His black eye went unnoticed because it was covered by his bangs, and I couldn't tell if the hand print had made a bruise, because it was cleverly covered with makeup. It looked like nothing had happened.  
  
Ryou even talked to me! Everything that happened the previous night seemed to be like a bad dream. A nightmare. Later that day, after school, he walked up to me. His big, innocent, brown eyes were sparkling with happiness. Yes, all was how it was before. "Malik-san?" He asked gently, looking at me the same way he had yesterday before the tragic happening.  
  
"Yes?" I asked, smiling cheerfully and looking into his eyes.  
  
"Do you love me?" He questioned, tilting his head to the side.  
  
I thought about it for a few seconds. Of course I loved him. Ryou is the most kawaii, most beautiful person I know. So, to answer his question- "No."  
  
"Oh. Okay. I was just wondering." He smiled brightly at me. "I'll see you tomorrow." He walked off, just as happily as before. Or, at least that's how it seemed. I knew he wasn't happy. He was torn up inside, to this very day, one year later, I still regret saying no. I regret everything.  
  
I haven't seen him since. He went to America with his father on vacation for three weeks, before he came back, I moved to Egypt with my sister. Now it's almost two years later. I'm back in Japan, but he isn't. He moved out of his old house without telling anyone. Ryou, if your reading this, if you're nearby I hope you'll come and visit me. I've been terribly lonely and sad without you here. I miss you so much. I know you'll come back to me one day my love. I know I'll be able to see you again. I hope Bakura is treating you well. If he's not, you can also talk to me about it. I'll listen this time, I promise. I miss the sound of your voice. You know, it's driving me crazy not seeing you. Literally. I'm in the hospital now. No one can find the time to visit me anymore; probably because I've been in here so many times they're used to it. I know you would visit me though; you'd visit if you knew I was here. I love you Ryou-kun.  
  
THE END  
  
Time finished- Sunday, July 13th 3:04 pm  
  
Oni: Wow. That took me almost five hours to write. Hm. I kept taking brakes though. To watch T.V, and then one of my friends stopped by, and then I wrote a letter. I miss Cara!!! Oh, sorry this was a bit sad. I was a bit sad when I wrote it. But now I'm happy-full, so hoorah! 


End file.
